Are you looking to find love for the holidays? Or trying to get over a past relationship but aren’t sure how? According to relationship expert, Lovetown USA star and “Real Love, Right Now” author Kailen Rosenberg (who Oprah Winfrey coined “a true love ambassador”), “we’re not ready just because we’re single”, one has to be ready to be in a relationship. Don’t you just love that? We have to truly be ready and available before we can commit to another person.
Kailen was kind enough to join me for an interview recently to discuss the secret to finding real love, why it’s so important for many of us to find love during the holidays, and her new book “Real Love, Right Now!”
Candace Rose: With the holiday season upon us, what’s the secret to finding real love?
Kailen Rosenberg: “Well, it begins with ourself. Whether it’s the holiday season or year long, we have to really know who we are and what we want and what we are truly available to give to someone else before we can actually have what we want. It’s one of the things that I really stress in my book, is kind starting with the self appraisal. Many of us forget to do that and we’ve put a lot of attention on what is it that we’re getting or not getting from our current partner or a past partner rather than what can we do differently? What can we do that’s healthier, more fun and more inviting. That’s a good place to start, kind of the true self awareness of our peace and a really fabulous amazing relationship, so we can have that with someone else.”
Candace Rose: Let’s say we’ve had a bad past relationship and we really want to get into another one, but we’re still hurt (from the past relationship). What can we do to get over that for good?
Kailen Rosenberg: “Here’s the thing- I don’t know that it’s about we want to get over it for good. We want to learn from it. One of the things that I talk about as well in my book is we need to treat every person that we’ve ever been in love with or has loved us as a teacher, as love teachers- some toxic, some not so healthy…some absolutely amazing; and the love that we’ve always wanted but were not quite ready for it.
So it’s looking at past relationships and experiences in a way of how can we learn from it? What did we receive? What do we want to experience again? What do we know that we really don’t want to experience again. And again, what was our part in attracting that, allowing it, accepting it and being a part of it. It goes to accountability, and when you can look at any past relationship as a teacher, then you can sort of get to a place of gratitude…there can be some peace and some healing, even from the worst relationships, truly. Every relationship teaches us a lot about who we are, and how love ready we are.”
Candace Rose: Why do people find it so important to find love for the holidays?
Kailen Rosenberg: “I think we find it important to find love all year long, but around the holidays it’s an emotional time of year for people and it’s the time of year we really focus on loving, and not always romantic loving. We’re out buying gifts for those we care about, and it’s a romantic time where we want to cuddle and snuggle and experience new memories together. It’s a fun time to be in love and it’s an interesting time to be dating as well. We learn a lot about not only ourselves and our own behavior, but the person we are with or going to be with potentially from how we experience and react to not only the seasons, but also the holidays – family, friends, each other. There’s a lot of learning that goes on during this time when we’re in a relationship.”
Candace Rose: Can you tell us about your new book “Real Love, Right Now”?
Kailen Rosenberg: “Yeah, so my book ‘Real Love, Right Now’ is really something I wrote about 40 years of trying to figure it out for myself, I finally got it right…I hope! It seems and feels that it’s good, but I’ve used it with my clients for about 20 years and realized it was time to take everything that was really working well and teaching people and getting them to a really beautiful place in love and relationships, whether married or single to a good place. I’m really proud of the book and I’m excited about what it’s doing for people.”
Candace Rose: Do you have any additional tips or information you’d like to share with us?
Kailen Rosenberg: “One thing that’s in the book that I know people are really excited about, I’m noticing that we’ve had thousands of people from around the country going to my website and downloading that blueprint. There’s a love and life blueprint on there, and so people when they’re building their dream home, they have their blueprint, they know they’re going to need it. I have a love and life blueprint that people have and need to have for themselves. It’s walking them through every single room of their love life and it’s helping them pay attention to everything that they need to pay attention to and possibly have been ignoring, so that they don’t want to ignore anymore and they can have that incredible partnership with someone. It shows the true readiness too. We’re not ready just because we’re single, there’s a lot of good stuff in the book. And again, it’s a neat gift to give to yourself or someone that you love and it also helps us share more love with this world too because the world needs it.”